Twyfel

A dog barks and stands at bay if he sees any one assault his master. I should be indeed remiss, if, seeing the truth of God thus attacked, I should remain dumb, without giving one note of warning… –  Calvyn

Twyfel

After many years of seeking to live a spiritual life, I still ask myself, “Where am I as a Christian?” — “How far have I advanced?” — “Do I love God more now than earlier in my life?” — “Have I matured in faith since I started on the spiritual path?”

Honestly I don’t know the answers to these questions. There are just as many reasons for pessimism as for optimism. Many of the real struggles of twenty or forty years ago are still very much with me. I am still searching for inner peace, for creative relationships with others, and for a deeper experience with God. And I have no way of knowing if the small psychological and spiritual changes during the past decades have made me more or less a spiritual person.

– Henri Nouwen, Spiritual Formation: Following the Movements of the Spirit

Henri Nouwen se eerlikheid is verfrissend, maar ook ontstellend. Hedendaagse sienings oor groei en  heiligmaking is soos Weight Watchers se programme – ons wil ons vordering op ‘n kaart aanteken sodat ons darem voel ons vorder. Ons hou van lyste wat ons kan aftik, meetbare standaarde wat ons kan vasstel.

Maar nou kom Henri Nouwen en hy sê: “Ek het geen idee nie.” Christene mag dalk nie die omvang van hulle probleem besef nie, maar hulle weet wat die genesing is. Ek sal nooit my vordering van sonde na geestelike gesondheid op ‘n kaart kan aanteken nie. Ek kan egter deur die Heilige Gees, voortdurend na die geneesmiddel kyk – Jesus Christus.